Should You Switch Therapists? Find Out Why and How

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The “therapeutic relationship” is the complex emotional link that develops between therapists and their clients. This connection plays a crucial role in the effectiveness of therapy. It’s built on trust, empathy, collaboration, and professionalism. However, not every therapist will work for every client. People may need to switch therapists to find the one that works best for them. Here are some signs you might need to switch to a new therapist.

1. You’re not making progress

If you feel like you’re not making any progress or your issues are not being addressed effectively, it might be time to consider a change. Therapy should lead to noticeable improvements in your mental health, even if they’re gradual.

One key to this is having clear goals. At the beginning of therapy, your counselor should help you define what you want to get out of it. This includes things you like and dislike about your life, things you want to change and others you want to keep.

A good therapist will have you periodically come back to those goals and reassess how you are progressing. Doing this regularly will help inform your treatment and adjust what you need to do as you keep working. If you feel like your sessions are stagnant or repetitive without yielding results, switching to another therapist might offer a new perspective or approach.

2. Not a good match

Not every therapist will work for every client. This can happen for any number of reasons. Different therapists often specialize in certain areas, such as trauma, substance use, ADHD/autism, or family and couples, to list a few. You need to find a therapist that specializes in what you need. This may not necessarily be clear in the first session as it can take a few to figure out what is really going on.

Disconnects may also come from cultural differences. It’s more difficult for someone to analyze a situation if they are not familiar with the unique cultural details of someone’s background. A Muslim woman from the Middle East will likely find it more difficult to develop a therapeutic connection with a white, male therapist than with someone a background more similar to hers. Fundamental differences like this can make people feel uncomfortable, misunderstood, or judged.

3. Communication differences

Communication is the basis of therapy, and if it doesn’t feel right, therapy won’t work. Poor communication between a therapist and client can happen for a number of reasons that might make you want to switch. It might be a problem on the therapist’s side. If your therapist doesn’t listen well, interrupts you frequently, or fails to explain their methods and the reasons behind their advice, it can be frustrating and unproductive.

Other times, the therapist might be a fine listener, but you struggle to open up to them. Therapy is not easy, to be sure. Discussing troubling topics takes courage and effort. However, at the same time, it should also not feel incredibly difficult just to talk. This is a stumbling block that many people run into in therapy and exploring that is part of the process. In doing this, you may realize that you do need to find a different therapist. If you feel awkward and still have trouble opening up even after several sessions, it may be time to move on.

4. Bad boundaries

Therapists are expected to adhere to a strict code of ethical conduct. This includes maintaining professionalism, confidentiality and keeping the clients’ goals in focus. One of the worst things that a therapist can do is violate their professional boundaries. This means a therapist should not engage with clients outside the professional setting. A therapist should not become a friend or, worse, a romantic partner.

Therapists are supposed to hold a position of trust in the therapeutic relationship. Allowing a romantic relationship to develop violates this trust. Even if both people are consenting, the relationship will be inherently exploitative for the client, potentially leading to manipulation or coercion. Therapeutic relationships involve deep emotional connections, and blurring the lines between therapy and romance can cause significant emotional harm. If a therapist initiates a relationship like this or allows one to develop, that is a sign to immediately stop seeing them and switch to a new one.

How to switch to a new therapist

If you think you could make better progress with a different therapist, make the switch. You need to prioritize your mental health. Unless your therapist has crossed an unprofessional boundary and made you feel unsafe, the first step is to talk to them about your desire to change providers. If your therapist did make you feel unsafe, email them instead and definitely don’t go back.

A good therapist may want to explore your thoughts and feelings about the move first, but generally they should be supportive of your decision. They can help recommend other therapists based on what you feel you need to be different with your next counselor. They will also help transfer information about what you have discussed so that you are not starting from square one with your new counselor.